Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Italia In Stato Interessante*

*Italian colloquialism for pregnant "in an interesting state".

David and I have returned from 10 days in Italy!

In 2008, I visited Istanbul for a week and a half while 26 weeks pregnant with Snoodie, so I figured, why not Rome at 32 weeks this time around? I'm keeping careful notes on my collective experiences in preparation for my upcoming travel guide for the ill-advisedly pregnant traveller tentatively titled, "Waddling the World". (Want a brief preview? Avoid bicycling tours!)

Before setting off, I went to my OB to check if she thought the trip was feasible. She seemed entirely unconcerned, saying that as long as I was home by the 34-week-mark she'd sign off. Just as I was about to leave her office, satisfied that I could calm the fears of some worried friends and relatives, she added most unhelpfully:

"Besides, even if you have the baby in Rome, it's not like they don't have hospitals there."

...I skipped that part when telling my mother that I'd gotten the official M.D. sign-off for the journey.

With this semi-blessing from my doctor in hand, off I flew, my trusty maternity belt in hand, ready to see the sights of Rome!

*WOAH! I find myself forced to PAUSE here for a moment and address what just happened when I Googled "MATERNITY SUPPORT BELT" in order to provide you guys with a reference image. THIS...

...is what popped up. I would like you to now take a moment and fully take in and appreciate the image above.

*musical interlude during photo perusal*

OK - that is, indeed a maternity support belt being shown by the "model" above. BUT, I ask you, what could POSSIBLY be the thought process that lead to the production of that image? I mean, what about wearing a belly support apparatus said to some ad-man out there:

"We should totally get a model and style her like she's in her mid-forties, maybe give her a perm and then have her point awkwardly to one shoulder while smiling fearfully!"

...and then his fellow ad-man friend was all...

"I like it! Now, go with me for a minute....is it just me or would it be totally awesome if this lady were wearing her maternity brace in the middle of a multi-colored laser field?"

"I love it!!!"

*Insert ad-men high-fiving*

I mean, if the message they meant to convey is, "You CAN keep your cool in the event of a late-pregnancy attack by disco aliens" then I give the photo an A+ on all counts. Otherwise, I'm a bit lost.

So, I was planning to give you guys a detailed run-down of our trip and tell you of all the lovely sights we sighted, but having been distracted by that photo, I feel I cannot go on. Suffice it to say that David and I took in a cavalcade of tourist spots, ate our weight in homemade pasta and did not have to change a single diaper for nearly 11 days.

And it was awesome.

The only bump in the road came when we found ourselves smack in the middle of this storm...

It took us 44 hours door-to-door to make it home from Rome, but it was all worth it to walk into our house and greet the Snood. He proceeded to run around clapping his hands, spinning in excited circles and screaming in delight at the sight of us for several hours.

If you ever need a little pick-me-up I can HIGHLY recommend spending 11 days away from your 17-month-old and then coming back home. And one last tip - if you spend those days in Italy - you get gelato!!!