Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Baby Stuff You Really Need



My neighbor is expecting her first baby this week and I've been giving her tons of advice. (OK, take a moment to let the dubiousness of that properly concern you.) One thing she's been particularly interested in figuring out is if she has what she needs for the baby's arrival.




I ended up making a list for her of the infant items I found most useful and I thought I'd pass it along here as well. 


It is my firm opinion that the Baby Industrial Complex is bent on forcing you to spend as much money as humanly possible each time you bring a newborn home, and the fact is that most of that stuff you don't really need.


ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY


Diapers


After some debate we used disposables. 


You probably don't need as many as you think. With Snoodie, I changed him every time he ate overnight, but eventually I realized that diaper technology has progressed to a point where being wet wasn't bothering him. I only change my third overnight when she seems uncomfortable, which as it turns out, is never. So now I only change every several hours during the day or her if she poops.


If you want to be hardcore, you can stop the list of things you absolutely need when you come home from the hospital at diapers. You will certainly get a couple of outfits as gifts, and so with diapers on hand you are now ready to meet the basic food/shelter/clothing requirements of having a newborn.  


BUT, a few additional items will make life easier on all.






The Breast Pump


For me the breast pump was one of the few baby items that was worth investing some real money in. 


I made the mistake of buying two cheap drugstore pumps before dropping real money on a high-end version. I have the Medela Pump In Style (because, as the name implies, it is wildly important for me to be as stylish as possible while self-milking). When it came to pump-shopping, I eventually came to the realization that when purchasing hardware that you plan to attach to your nipples, it's really not a time to look for bargains.


I've used the breast pump more with each child. With my first, there was no impediment to sitting and breastfeeding for hours at a time while watching hour after hour of reality TV (insert wistful sigh for the good old days). But now that I have two toddlers, I find that keeping a stash of pumped milk means I don't have to master the art of breastfeeding while simultaneously playing hide-and-seek in the park. For this I am grateful.


I work from home, but I sense from friends who have gone back to work while still breastfeeding that they find a good pump even more invaluable.


Bottles


If you pump you'll need bottles and nipples to feed, but again, not that many. I got mine with my breast pump. I also never bought any sort of bottle sterilization system. They are expensive and take up a lot of space and your dishwasher does the same job for free, so I say skip it.


Nightgowns with Open Bottoms/Onesies with Feet




I dressed my first in a wild assortment of adorable, multi-piece outfits featuring coats with whimsical animal scenes, onesies with sailing tableaus, and the occasional jaunty hat. 


My third alternates between exactly two outfits.


At night she wears nightgowns with open bottoms to allow me to change her (in case of poop) without either one of us having to fully wake up. During the day she wears a one piece that covers her feet so I don't have to keep track of socks while we're on the move.


A Car Seat


A car seat is non-negotiable, but beware! The purchase of a car seat can lead you into a treacherous minefield of information designed to convince you that your love of your offspring can be accurately measured by how much you are willing to spend to keep him or her safe in your vehicle. After lamenting over our car seat purchase at length, my husband finally convinced me that we live in a litigious age where nationally mandated child-related safety standards are already in place for all infant products, and so any car seat that we purchased in a reputable store would inevitably be safe.


Thus we went with a fairly inexpensive one.


One thing I have found to be invaluable in a car seat is to have one that snaps into a base in your car and also snaps into your stroller. This means that you don't have to take your kid out to transfer him/her from stroller to car and vice-versa, because in my experience when you do have to wrest them from one location to another they tend to get very, very angry at you. And that should be avoided. And speaking of...


The Stroller


Like car seats, if they are allowed to sell them, they're suitably safe, so you're paying the money for extra bells and whistles that are generally unnecessary. Like I said, you DO want to buy one of the systems where the same seat locks in the car and on the stroller. You should also pay attention to how you "unlock" the stroller handle to put it down. We didn't, which means to release the handle on ours you have to use both hands, which means you have to put the baby somewhere first. Hey, how about the seat? Great! First just let me put the handle down...


OPTIONAL BUT NOT NECESSARY


A Baby Tub


One of these can be pretty useful during the time before the baby has head control, but you can also sponge bathe them or give them bird baths in the sink instead. They sell all sorts of stickers and things that warn you if the water is too hot, but if you happen to have a wrist (right about the spot before your hand starts?) then you can use that instead.


A Wipes Warmer


From what I hear from my elders, children in previous generations have survived the sensation of cold things touching their butts at changing times. Still, I found that having warm wipes helped my little ones sleep through diaper changes, so while acknowledging it as an indulgence, I recommend.


The Boppy


This pillow really helps get the baby is a good position for nursing. For the record it also helps you multitask (eat, drink, blog, break up violent fights between your other offspring, etc.) while nursing. I have the very basic kind (they have some that attach around your waist, making you resemble a cigarette girl selling breastmilk, but I never tried one of those). As a bonus, a Boppy makes a great lap seat for your little if you happen to be traveling on a plane. I'd get one.



Baby Soothing Systems

These include the baby swing, the vibrating chair, the hammock, and all the other devices meant to stop your baby from crying and thus save you from ruing the day you ever decided to spawn. Some work quite well, but it's hard to predict which one will work for your kid, and inevitably they'll end up needing something completely different.

(Snoodie had a stretch where he would only calm down if you held him "just so" whilst bouncing on an inflatable yoga ball for hours at a time. My second, thankfully, had no interest in the yoga ball of doom.)

We were fortunate enough to get several of these items as hand-me-downs, and while my kids liked all of them to varying degrees, the one consistent winner was the swing. They make super-elaborate swings and cheap ones, and my babies couldn't tell the difference as long as they were rocking back and forth in some fashion.



Somewhere for Baby to Sleep


I bought a co-sleeper off Craigslist. Never used the actual co-sleeping feature but it's a nice little spot for the baby to sleep that's away from where her brothers can bother her. A Moses basket or bassinet seem like they would have been just as good. It's nice to not be dealing with a full-sized crib for the first couple of months because there's not so much lifting them in and out, but aside from that slight hassle, a crib would be fine as well.




THINGS YOU DON'T NEED


Here are the items I found the least useful:


Blankets


We came home with three hospital-issue blankets and then received approximately 1,000 additional blankets as gifts. Babies don't really use blankets at night, so you only really need 2 or 3 to wrap them up in when necessary. We had total blanket overload. (Please note at this time that if you gave us a blanket, I am not referring to your blanket. Yours is the blanket we use and adore. Thank you for your thoughtful and awesome blanket. You rule.)


Nursing Tops/Nursing Covers


Again, with my first, I was constantly constructing elaborate tent structures over myself while nursing in public. With my third, my basic attitude is, turn your head for a second folks. If, in the age of readily-available internet porn, my 40-year-old boob is so inciting that you can't turn away while it makes a brief appearance, then you've got bigger problems than I know how to address. 


I've gotten rid of all my nursing clothing and covers. 


Diaper Bag


A diaper bag is kind of like a purse: you can tote your crap around in any old thing, so you just need to decide how stylish you want to be, how much room you need, and how much you're willing to spend on the 'reusable grocery bag' to 'whatever Beyonce has' scale. 


Breast Milk Storage


They sell all sorts of bags and stuff in this category, but I've always stored mine in a bottle in the fridge. I never had a huge backup supply, so maybe I just never needed this stuff, but still, I never needed it.


Diaper Pail


When we lived in a small apartment the diaper pail was pretty necessary. Now that we are in a house with an easily accessed outside can, we could do without ours. Some of the models use a specific kind of bag which you have to keep buying, so I prefer the kind that take regular garbage bags.


IN CONCLUSION


My overall advice is simple -- don't overbuy. Your children will soon fill your home with a cavalcade of debris the likes of which you can not at this time imagine, so don't give them a head start by over-purchasing for them as infants. There really isn't all that much they need, no matter what the shiny circulars from Babies R Us may have you believe.


It should be noted that we live in Southern California, so we don't have any climate-related needs for baby snowsuits, baby fur hats, or other baby de-icing systems. These may be necessary in other parts of the globe and certainly may up your need for blankets (I might have some spares you could use...)





Please weigh in in the Comments section if there's something I've forgotten -- was there anything you absolutely loved having when you first brought baby home?


My neighbor thanks you in advance.

19 comments:

  1. I agree on everything except breastmilk storage. I have gone through bags and bags and more bags of freezer breastmilk storage bags. Maybe I am fortunate and had a really good supply, or maybe because I work a FT job, but those were a necessity for me.

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  2. Yes, I did most of my breastfeeding at home so I never really needed breast milk storage and never managed to get more than 20 ounces or so ahead. Ignore my thoughts on breast milk storage people! I admit don't know what I'm talking about here.

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  3. Good post! Laughed at the breastfeeding cover bit.

    I totally hear you about all those damn blankets. Add in those (precious, sentimental) blankets your mother-in-law gives you that belonged to your husband when he was a child (old/smells like moth balls) and you are on complete blanket overhaul.

    I hear that "my breast friend" (lamest name ever) is far superior to the boppy, but I wouldn't know because I didn't own one. And "boppy" isn't a hard name to beat, now that I think about it. They must have infants name these things.

    I personally found that a diaper bag was very helpful because (1) it's something you can monogram, and that's always fun; (2) it has more pockets than most disposable garbage bags; and (3) you can keep it stocked all the time so that you grab it and go, rather than "oh crap we have to pack a suitcase to go to the zoo."

    And don't get that fancy organic butt cream. You smear it on their ass, so who cares if it's organic and smells like tea tree oil? Get the generic brand at Target.

    Overall, if you have onsies, diapers, bottles, and wipes, you can pretty much master anything.

    My unsolicited (but I'm sure appreciated?) advice.

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    Replies
    1. My sister and I have spent much quality time laughing about the name "My Breast Friend" - who thought of that?

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  4. I love, love, love the squirty bottle I got at the hospital to rinse my precious parts with but ended up using for my son at every single bath. The spray is directed so you don't have to worry about getting it in eyes/ears and it is great for rinsing neck folds and thigh creases. My son still uses it today--he's 6.
    Also loved the bath sling that just fits in the kitchen sink. No bending over is awesome.
    Finally a little tmi but for me breast pads. Once my milk came in leakage was inevitable--I swear by the Lansinoh pads. A little more expensive but you don't go through as many.
    That's my two cents!

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    1. I didn't really add items for mom but if I had I would have said that both the squirty bottle and the icy spray are NON-NEGOTIABLE. I've never used the squirty bottle at bathtime but I"m going to give it a whirl!

      I put breast pads in with breast milk storage - I never had the problem of too much milk so that's why it didn't make my list.

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  5. Every time my baby cried, I leaked. If I missed a feeding my milk came in anyway and I soaked my shirt. Breast pads are a must in my book!
    Binkies were a life saver for the times when nursing wasn't an option or they just were fussy for whatever reason, if you could get them to take them. But you never know what kind your baby will like until you try them out either. Of course you have to not become dependent on them so that they are four and still sucking one... I also liked the little triangular shaped pads that supported the baby on their sides since sleeping on their backs all the time like is recommended leaves them with flat heads. Mine slept better that way than on their backs anyways.
    You covered all the rest! Good job!

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    1. I am an underproduced when it comes to breast milk so I freely admit my advice regarding any form of milk management is going to be abjectly terrible. I'm glad other folks are weighing in on that topic with better advice.

      I agree about pacifiers! I forget them but I couldn't have gotten by without them. Ours all were fussy about them but they all took Aventi ones if they were the right age/size.

      Never tried the sleep positioners - I put a mirror on opposite sides of the crib to combat flat head syndrome and my kids have all ended up with fine heads! :)

      Thanks for adding to the discussion!

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  6. Yes to breast pads. Holy crap did I leak. I know not everyone will but good to have handy, and Lansinoh.

    I second a diaper bag, I liked the compartments for bottles that would frequently leak, and the bink pocket so I didn't have to dig around for it.

    We had a diaper pail because there's no way I'm walking outside in 10 degrees to toss a diaper. I did, however, return 2 wipe warmers. By the time I got the wipe to the bum it would be cold again. This is great though, go minimal.

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  7. If she is breastfeeding, I suggest magazines. My first son HATED to be covered so everyone in PA and NJ has seen my boobs. Nothings screams DON'T LOOK, I'M NURSING like a nursing cover. I used a magazine. Nobody looks twice, plus they are light enough to hold one handed,
    and I certainly spent a looooong time nursing in the car. I kept a box of magazines in the car and worked my way through them.

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  8. Nursing pads!!!

    A baby carrier like a wrap or a sling was my number one used (right behind the tatas) baby item. I didnt go a day without using a baby carrier of some sort. There were day when I carried my second child for almost 8 hours off and on in one day -because I was chasing after my first and didnt have time to hold the new babe in arms! People can check out www.thebabywearer.com for instructions how to use the baby carriers, and you can even buy used carriers there too (free to join the forum)

    Lastly, I LOVED lightweight swaddling blankets. But not the tiny ones. The 45x45 inch ones (similarto the Aden and Anais brand) my kids were hardly ever fussy because I just swaddled them in a blanket or put them in a baby carrier when they were. My first LIVED to be swaddled.

    Good luck to your neighbor!

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  9. Had to weigh in on the my breast friend nursing pillow - yep, totally ridiculous name, but by far the best nursing pillow out - it saved my back. Of course, it's ridiculously priced to match the ridiculous name. Well, here it is - mine was around $100 about 10 months ago. Probably cheaper in the US though - everything is! I can't weigh in on clothes - I have one child, so am still in the stage of dressing him in multi part outfits with animal scenes... I will say that as far as singlets go, get the ones that have snaps under the crotch so they don't ride up. Good luck to your neighbour :)

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  10. Great rundown!Anyway I additionally observed that I required one all the more thing: at least 1 other place to put the baby for mixed bag.I have a swing and a bouncer/rocker.They weren't for the first month or somewhere in the vicinity,however after that, and for the next view months,I simply needed to have the capacity to change baby's position and view when I didn't have them in my arms! :) I additionally do love the changing table for when I'm really in the baby's room,in light of the fact that I don't have a considerable measure of storage space overall, and on the grounds that its the right height to not kill my back or not make me need to squat back down some place when my bones and hips are as yet killing me.So I have everything I need at my fingertips and back-ups of those supplies (diapers,butt cream,wipes,lotion,the clean gown I'm going to put on next, and so forth).I had a considerable measure more junk for my first child, and for this baby (who is as of now 3 months old),the rundown here is perfect plus the additional things. :)

    @Lisa Moore.

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  11. Breast Pump is very essential for a mother. Thanks for share your post.

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