Thursday, July 19, 2012

Deprogramming



Having returned from two weeks visiting family in Texas I now find myself deep in the transitional phase known as "The Deprogramming".


Whenever you spend time away from home you end up altering some basic daily routines. Bedtimes get shifted, nutrition gets compromised, and naps fail to manifest. When you spend time with Grandparents, in particular, your children become used to being lavished with attention, fed ice cream on demand, and entertained on a moment-by moment basis.


Upon returning from such an excursion there is an inevitable period of reintroducing your children to the realities of their long-forgotten home life.




Here are a few of the concepts that we are currently attempting to reassert:

  • I am not a short-order cook. This morning we are having eggs for breakfast. Yes, we are having eggs for breakfast no matter how many times you shut your eyes and shriek the words, "FRENCH TOAST!!!!!" at top volume.


  • Today will involve exactly one activity. In the morning we will venture forth towards the park, or maybe the playground, or perhaps even the airplane museum. Then there will be napping. In the afternoon I invite you to chase each other about the yard while I fold some laundry. Entertain thyselves!
  • Dessert is something that occurs in our house once a day, if you eat the actual nutritious foods prepared in advance of dessert. So leap if you want from your jet-lagged from your beds at 5:30am demanding candy. Express fervently your thoughts on the subject of ice cream as an exceptional lunch choice. Shout the word, "COOKIES!" for two-hours straight in lieu of napping. The bottom line is NO MORE DESSERT. It ain't happening.

  • See above but insert the word "McDonalds" wherever the word "Dessert" appears.
...and finally...
  • The level of attention you have come to expect in untenable for a mother of three (one of whom is a nursing infant). You cannot jump to me 1,000 times a row in the pool because I need my arms to keep your siblings above the surface of the water at all times. In addition, when at home it make take me a few moments or more to respond to your every request for "MILK!!!" "JUICE!!!" and "SNACKS!!!" Unless I deem your situation to constitute an emergency it may be a while.  (And for the record, needing your trains so you can throw them down the slide? NOT AN EMERGENCY). 
It's not easy shifting gears but we are doing it day-by-day. We should have it all worked out in a few short weeks...



...just in time to go visit the Grandparents in New York.

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