Thursday, January 23, 2014

Frozen: A Short Fat Film Review

We are BACK after almost twenty-one days of holiday fun-time travel!

We had some airline related woes (previously chronicled) but in general our trip was wonderful and successful and filled with visits to parents, aunts, uncles and cousins large and small.

We also went to see the newest Disney film "FROZEN"

For weeks we'd been passing billboards for the movie as we drove around L.A. and I kept asking my kids if they'd like to go see it.

"Hey guys - should we go check out that movie?" I'd ask as we passed the ads again and again,  "It's about a funny snowman named Frozen."

My boys (aged 5 and 3) heartily agreed that - yes- a movie about a funny snowman named Frozen sounded totally awesome and right up their alley. And so on one of the few bad weather days of our trip, we decided to head to the multiplex to check out this highly anticipated film about a "FUNNY SNOWMAN NAMED FROZEN".

We got to our seats and managed to make it through approximately twenty-seven deafening previews. The boys were getting a little antsy but I managed to keep them calm with constant reassurances that if they JUST...SAT...STILL the Snowman movie would begin soon.

Eventually the movie started. And there, right in the opening scene, was the snowman! For like one second. The rest of the scene featured two sisters playing. One of the sisters had special powers that allowed her to make snow appear. She ended up injuring her sister in a snow-related mishap and thus was shut away so she couldn't do anyone any more harm. The scene was poignant and touching and when it ended there was a detectable hush that fell over the theater.

That hush was interrupted by a loud shriek from my irate five-year-old,

"WAIT! What happened to the snowman?"

His brother was similarly outraged,

"Yeah Mom! What happened to Frozen?"

I was overcome by the feeling that I had made a grave tactical error. I tried to silence my boys in a frenzied whisper,

"OK look, I'm not totally sure the snowman's name is actually Frozen. But look, you just saw him, right? He was right there on the screen. I'm sure he'll be back soon so SIT TIGHT!"

Then began a lengthy series of princess-based musical numbers. And don't get me wrong, they were great. They were playful and moving and beautifully animated, but unfortunately, none of them featured the wacky antics of a hilarious snowman named Frozen...

...which my boys rightly felt they had been promised.

About half-an-hour in the kids were in full revolt. I guiltily tried to explain that I should have maybe done more research before choosing this as our motion picture outing. I pleaded with them,

"Look, I realize this is not exactly what you were expecting but if you could just stop protesting so loudly and allow our fellow moviegoers to enjoy this film on its merits...."

At the forty-five minute mark I gave up and took the kids out to the lobby for hot dogs and popcorn. We loaded up on snacks and by the time we headed back into the theater there was still no sign of a snowman but at least an amusing reindeer had appeared. Between that and the snacks we were able to coast for another few scenes until -- MIRACLE OF MIRACLES --

Frozen the Snowman appeared!!!

I mean, technically it was Olaf the Snowman but close a-friggin'-nuff.  And, I gotta say, this Snowman -- he was funny. He had a funny face, he had a funny voice, and he lost his butt not once, but twice!  My boys laughed their heads off, we made it to the end of the showing without anyone calling security on us, and the outing was saved.

All this to say, people, that I cannot stress enough the importance the role of EXPECTATION MANAGEMENT plays in proper parenting. 

On our way home I asked the boys if they'd enjoyed the movie. They said they had. I asked them if Olaf had been their favorite part.

My five-year-old thought about this for a moment before responding, 

"Mom, I know his name was Olaf, but I'm going to think of him as Frozen."

OK with me kid.  OK with me.