It's time to lose the baby weight.
To be frank it is PAST time. My daughter is nearly 7 months old and I've somehow managed to gain ten pounds since her birth.
And when I say "somehow" I guess I mean "by eating 3,500 calories a day as if I were still pregnant". That whole "the weight will just fall off from breastfeeding" thing has proven no match for my unique ability to consume half a dozen $100,000 bars at a sitting.
After my first pregnancy I had about thirty pounds to lose. I thought about how to approach this dilemma and realized that I could either
a. Radically alter my eating habits and begin a strict exercise regimen.
b. Get pregnant again.
I chose Option Number B, restocked my freezer with dozens of Good Humor bars, and never looked back.
When Baby #2 left my bodily premises, I found myself once again struggling with the motivation to lose weight.
But as it turned out, motivation found me in the form of a grey chiffon bridesmaid dress. As a member of my sister-in-law's wedding party, I'd had the following non-delightful conversation with a dress consultant three months after giving birth.
"Well, let's see here, according to your measurements you're a size 16 bust, size 20 waist, and size 12 hips."
Rather than ordering three different dresses and having them patched together Frankenstein-style, I decided that I should probably just go ahead and lose some weight. Fired up with chiffon-based motivation, I managed to drop thirty pounds over the course of the next eight months.
And as much as I hate to tell people who ask me expectantly,
"How did you do it?"
I did it by just eating really reasonable food and exercising a whole lot. Boring, but it worked.
Me at the wedding. Please note insane man arms resulting from my sister's innocuous suggestion that "as long as your arms look good the rest of you will look good". Easy on the free weights, crazy!
Exactly one week after the above picture was taken I found out I was pregnant. And now a year and a half later, I find myself with a beautiful daughter and 25 pounds to lose.
Because we've had what will almost certainly be our last child, I think there is a part of me that is really rebelling against getting back on a normal eating program. It's as if something inside of me believes that once I give up the massive caloric free-for-all that has marked each of my pregnancies, the door to eating anything fun is closed to me forever. And, to be frank, when you are home all day with three kids under four it can be easy to see food as one's nearly sole source of comfort.
"I've changed a dozen diapers since 8am and gotten puked on twice so no one is going to deny me my right to eat 7 slices of pizza as I watch the Real Housewives after they've all gone to bed!!!!!"
And I'm feeling pretty motivated. Though if you wanted to do me a solid you could ask me to be a bridesmaid in your wedding sometime in early 2013.
It would really help me out.
It would really help me out.