Thursday, February 14, 2013

It's All About the Cake

My kids LOVE cake.

And I get that this is not particularly unusual. I understand that kids by their very nature are, you know FOND of sugary treats. Nonetheless, I find that my children's obsession with cake is becoming a source of what I'd call, concern.

For example, of late we seem to be orienting ourselves almost entirely around cake-themed events as we discuss the yearly calendar. Often as I tuck my oldest son in at night he will inquire as we finish our prayers,

"Whose birthday comes next?"

"Your cousin Mary's" I'll respond as I turn out the light.

I shut the door and listen to the heated debate that ensues between my two boys as to whether cousin Mary will choose Spiderman cupcakes or a giant cake in the shape of a gorilla when her big day comes.

The cake obsession at our house has recently reached new heights. And when I say "new heights" I do mean worse than the disastrous "you have already had four cupcakes and now we're cutting you off" debacle of 2011.

Actual footage from above-mentioned incident

Things really went off the rails after my daughter's first birthday last week. In preparation for her party I made 24 cupcakes in hopes of passing them about to friends and neighbors during the festivities. Instead, my daughter spiked a 104 degree fever and we had to cancel her party entirely, leaving the treats unclaimed.

Which made for a whole mess of problems. 

The rampant availability of cupcakes in our house resulted in my relationship with my boys quickly devolving to little more than all-day-every-day cake-based negotiations.

The two of them sprang from their beds each morning full of demands.

CHILD #1: For breakfast let's have a cupcake!
MOM: Um, no. We don't eat cupcakes for breakfast.

This was promptly followed by an hour plus of wailing as my children let me know that their very heart's desire had been crushed by my announcement that we do not consider chocolate icing part of a healthy breakfast. 

At lunchtime the war began again:

MOM: Would you like chicken or hot dogs for lunch?
CHILD #1: Cupcakes!
CHILD #2: Yes, cupcakes!!
(Cut to Mom pulling out hair as children stage a group wail-in until naptime)

At some point I took stock and realized that I could not stand against these demands forever. I knew that unless I took drastic action I would be admitting at future doctor and dentist appointments that I had been allowing my sons to eat upwards of 6 cupcakes a day. 

So, I sent the remaining cupcakes off to work with my husband. After a few outpourings of protests from the kids, things at the house quickly normalized. The children stopped demanding sweets instead of meals, and the occasional cookie once again sufficed to meet their daily sugar- and/or bribery-based needs.

Peace was restored.

That was, until my kids headed off to a friend's princess party this weekend. As soon as the birthday cake appeared, all party-themed merriment ceased for my boys as they remembered their first true love -- CAKE. Their frosting-senses were activated, causing them to follow around the beleaguered cake-bearer like homing pigeons, demanding that the candles be lit so that dessert gobbling might commence in a timely fashion!

Which may have been bit annoying to our hosts. But for me there was at least one huge upside...

...there were no leftovers.