Thursday, May 16, 2013

My No Good Horrible Very Bad Week

Dearest Blog Followers, Subscribers and People Who are Here Because they Attempted to Google Pictures of Short, Dictatorial World Leaders and/or "How to Knit a Snood",

I make a sincere effort to update this blog on each Thursday of the week with tales of familial misadventure, the occasional parenting tip and some witty insights into the state of married life.

But this week I can't do it. 

Because I'm in hiding.

I'm under the covers, hoping no one will notice my absence for while, like maybe until the children leave for college.

Yeah, it's been one of those weeks. I won't go into every gory detail but allow me to provide the following lowlights:

  • Son #2's front-step fall resulting in forehead laceration (involving a copious amount of bleeding, a trip to the ER, some light facial reconstructive gluing and then a crime-scene cleanup of the back of the minivan), which resulted in...
  • the cancellation of our weekend outing to a friend's pool (no wet stitches!), which left us marooned in the playroom engaging in...
  • 38,000 games of "Don't Break the Ice". Was there appropriate turn taking? There was not. Was there instead much shouting and grabbing and generalized ill-will along with some light inter-brotherly skull hammering? There was. All of which occurred over...
  • two days with 90+ degree temperatures, which happened to coincide with the air conditioning going out in the minivan...
  • and culminated with the baby's sudden-onset double ear infection coupled with projectile vomiting PLUS...
  • a lost shipment of fire hats for son's rapidly approaching fireman-themed birthday party WHICH RESULTED IN...
  • approximately 96 phone calls in search of the above, WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT BE RELATED TO...
  • the bizarre neck-related ailment which has rendered me unable to turn my head and forced me to go about my day with the mobility of a rusted-out robot.

So, I'm taking the week off.

In keeping with the theory that a picture is worth a thousand words I present the following...

I am a two-year-old with a busted head lying in a hospital bed while wearing a "Daddy's Little Caddy" T-shirt. Are you sad yet?

Hopefully things will be a little better around these parts next week. 

Until then, I'll be here under the covers waiting for someone to bring snacks.


  1. Oh, two-year-olds. My 2yo had to get stitches two days in a row a couple weeks ago. I hope next week is better for you!

  2. Thanks Jessica. I have spent the last two days shrieking at my boys, "Sit down!! No one else is getting stitches this weeekkkkk!!!!" *fingers crossed*

  3. Oh what a hell week.

    I feel for you. I know when my kids get hurt to the point of blood everywhere, I go week kneed and curse this frail emotional constitution of mine.

    Wish I were there to just have a drink with you. And offer you some dinner. xo

  4. That is the saddest little face I've seen all week.

  5. Best. Photo. Ever. Even if it did require hospitalization. Hang in there, eventually they'll go to college.

  6. Oh the terrible twos! What a week you've had. And maybe another one since I don't see a post for last week? I hope life is kind to you again soon!